How to Know You’re Dealing with Someone Really Intelligent

It has nothing to do with politics or religion.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

You can know, with reasonable certainty, that you’re talking to, or dealing with, someone really intelligent. Here are the signs:

(1) He, she, or they, don’t shoot from the hip when making judgments. They gather information, generally from more than one perspective. They may decide that being judgmental isn’t useful and won’t do it.

(2) They admit it when they get something wrong. They’ve trained themselves not to get defensive. They’ll analyze failure and try to learn from it.

(3) They’re confident enough to admit it when they don’t know something but will try to find out for you.

(4) They’re not afraid of looking like a beginner. They ask well-focused questions, because they listen and actually hear what you said. They aren’t just waiting for their turn to talk. As the Stoics observed with wry humor, we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.

(5) They’re observant and pick up on things quickly. They ‘read the room.’

(6) This is because they are emotionally intelligent. They know you’ll be more effective if you take the feelings and perspectives of others into consideration before making important decisions. The intelligent have empathy.

(7) So they remember details, especially about people or the things that affect those around them. They can use that information in positive and validating or constructive ways. If they see that a coworker or friend or spouse or child is struggling with something, they may approach with three magical (because validating) words: “Tell me more.”

(8) They’ll often add counter-considerations to their conclusions, especially if it’s a controversial topic. They’ll say something like, “On the other hand, some people believe ________.” They won’t quote someone out of context or be sarcastic and dismissive, because they understand that opinions — even those seemingly well-founded to them — are opinions and not established eternal facts. We’re all fallible.

(9) They’re open, therefore, to having their ideas examined and challenged. They’re happy to explain the…